Basically, the only things separating me from @Sween are 1 million followers and a purple sippy cup:
Dad Needs A Drink
So, I’m going to my first Jimmy Buffett concert on Saturday. I’ve never been - and I’m not exactly a huge fan - but we’re going with a great group of friends and I imagine it’s as good of an excuse as any to stand in a field and drink my face off for 8 hours (albeit in an ugly shirt and potentially a coconut bra).
While bored at work today [redundant], I decided to figure out how much water we’d need to bring to the concert in order to fill up a whale kiddie pool. First pic is of the pool (who I’ve named “Mr. Narwhal”) and the second is of my spreadsheet. It’s not rocket science - and it may have some flawed assumptions - but I figure it’s close enough. Anyway, I can’t help think that this exercise pretty much sums up my entire career. Yeah, I can dazzle people with some geeky, outside-the-box stuff on occasion (this may not be the best example); but, more often than not, that effort is spent on thinking up tweets or filling up a goddamn whale pool.
- @DadNeedsADrink
P.S. Unless one of you has a 70+ gallon water tank I can borrow, it doesn’t look like Mr. Narwhal is making the cut. I haven’t told him yet.
Sometimes I Don't Mind: #RoastFriday - A Few Words
Follow Friday has become a repetitive cycle that a significant number of folks have come to dread rather than look forward to. It’s become an unrelenting series of #FF lists and #FF thank you tweets and isn’t much fun at all. A few months ago, I had a conversation with the esteemed @juicymorsel about the problems with Follow Friday and out of that RoastFriday developed.
Not to sound alarmist… but I’d be more convinced that we DON’T live in the Matrix if Fox News hadn’t hired Agent (Shepard) Smith.
Science club or an ethnic glory hole?
I’m not exactly a pilot, but I imagine this is not good:
Haven’t had time to tweet much lately, but I just hired a new assistant to help me out.
I just made this. Tell anyone and I’ll hurt you.
DON’T VOTE
People will tell you that you MUST vote; that it’s your civic duty as an American. They’re wrong. Well — to be fair — they’re close, but they’re oversimplifying it.
It is your civic duty to educate yourself on the issues and then vote. If you do the latter without the former, then that vote is a bad one. It may not be the right vote for your country; it might not even be the right vote for you.
- If you’re voting solely on name recognition… don’t vote.
- If you’re voting for the best looking candidate… don’t vote.
- If you’re voting because some loudmouth at the office told you that a candidate is pure evil… don’t vote.
- If you’re voting on a candidate’s gender… don’t vote
- If you’re voting on a candidate’s sexual preference… don’t vote.
- If you’re voting on a candidate’s race… don’t vote.
- If you’ve never heard of the candidates in a particular race… skip it on the ballot.
- If you’ve have no idea what Proposition XYZ is… skip it on the ballot.
- If you’re voting solely on information you’ve gleaned from political advertisements… dear God, please don’t vote.
To be perfectly clear, I do think that everyone should vote. It’s a beautiful thing that we, as Americans, have the ability to steer the direction of our country. I think hope believe know that we can handle the responsibility and wish that more Americans would participate. I just want people to do it the right way.
Anyway, in closing…
- If you know what a proposition entails; what a candidate stands for; what issues need attention; and what you, yourself, truly believe; then please PLEASE make the time, fight the lines, and have your voice counted. Vote.
- @DadNeedsADrink
Bored
Bored at work on a Friday, so I figured I’d screw around with this Tumbr site that I keep meaning to fix up. So, this is post #1 in all its glory.
Also… very important… here is a pic of a ninja penguin:
Real men are proud of their lawns. I’m proud that I still look great in a bikini after two kids.
Honestly, I love every single some of you.
Nickelodeon needs a cartoon superhero who plays quietly, changes his own diapers, and fetches beer for his Daddy.
Light Twitter day; heavy productivity day. I’m sure that’s just a coincidence.
Having problems with Foursquare. Can someone hook me up with 6 imaginary unicorn points for visiting the new ice cream shop?
